Wow, my blog. This feels weird, but also right?

Here are a few things you may have missed since my last post, a hundred million years ago.

1. I have a real, honest-to-goodness job. It’s true! I throw myself out of bed every morning after my three alarms go off (5:20, 5:30 and then 5:45), shower, and head straight to school. I have a classroom, a desk, my own laptop, and a handful kids who love to yell “Malone!” when they walk towards my classroom. While I do enjoy feeling like Norm from Cheers, I also sometimes have people (and other teachers) still ask me if I’m a student, and what the hell are you doing in the teacher’s lounge?

2. We moved! Kev and I bought a sweet-ass house in New Jersey that officially belongs to us! (and the bank, but mostly us!)

3. Artie has recently been wearing a fine suede vest because he had to be shaved down, and he will just shiver occasionally to make you feel bad.

4. We live in the woods, which makes sleeping AWESOME. We no longer live above anyone, besides a convicted sex felon, next to someone who collects reptiles, or near a crazy woman that would talk to a pool noodle occasionally. Because of all that, I do not hear bizarre things in the night that make me question who is in our room, and why they are wearing a bumble bee costume (that really happened.)

5. I’m still not sleeping well, although if I were a doctor I would say I’ve made some progress. Not the most progress, but some. I have been officially valium free since February, although I do take Unisom occasionally to help me sleep at night. Although I will forever be a proponent of Valium to help you sleep, I do feel a difference in the morning. There is much less lag, cloudiness, and overall feeling of zombification when you’re not popping vals every weeknight.

6. Over the summer I started an instagram series called “Heard at the Pool”. In its simplest explanation, it was a collection of all the bat shit crazy things I would overhear at our community pool. You can see some of them here on Tumblr, or here on my instagram. I promise that everything I’ve posted is real stuff from someone’s mouth. I’m just the vessel. This is the kind of thing you get into when you don’t work over the summer.

7. On a serious note, my students have been doing an awesome job with their Friday Thank You Notes. We’ve sent over 60 positive thank you notes out into the community, including notes for previous teachers, family members, and recovering vets at Walter Reed Med Center. I’m extremely proud of them, and if they get nothing else out of my class at least they’ll know how to address an envelope.

8. On a less serious note, I lost one of the most important boxes while we moved and I still can’t find it. It’s full of wedding pictures and cool picture frames I accrued over the summer. If you see it, or if you find it at auction somewhere, please let me know.

9. Kev and I celebrated our four year anniversary in June. Four years! We went camping in Delaware, and awoke the night of our anniversary to three people almost murdering each other a few tents down. The girl was screaming at the top of her lungs, and the one man threatened to “knife her” with a broken bottle. When I woke up the next morning, everything -including their cars and tents – was gone. I was almost 100% positive I dreamt the whole thing, until I heard an elderly woman talk about it in the group shower area.

10. I have a financial advisor now, and one of the saddest moments of my entire life was when she saw me at Target and didn’t even recognize me. Like my $25 per paycheck contribution to my 403B means nothing to her.

11. While filming a project for class, one of my students had a sweater on that said “Guinness”. When I told him he would have to turn it inside out because of the beer reference before we started filming he said, “Why? It says Genesis!” Definitely not the same thing.

12. I woke up two nights ago thinking that there was weird, black slime all over the comforter. I hurried out of bed, slammed into the wall (because I’m still not used to being so close to it) and starting pulling on the comforter from the foot of the bed. When it wouldn’t give, because Kev had burrito’d himself into it, I decided I’d wait it out for a few minutes while I went to the bathroom. I told myself, out loud even, that if it was really still bad when I got out of the bathroom I’d kick Kev out and take care of it. When I got back into the room I decided it wasn’t bad enough to really take the comforter off. That I could live with it. This is something that happens to me a few times a month.

13. On the last day of my summer vacation I started reading a 600 page book because I’m probably the dumbest person I know.

14. I can bake again! My new house has all sorts of counter space, so be prepared for a “Welcome back to Yeah, I’d Bake That” Christmas post. I’ve missed the shit out of baking, and I would suspect that a lot of my test subjects feel the same.

15. And lastly, but certainly not least(ly), I am so excited that life is finally heading in a more positive, and easier direction. In waking life things are good, and we’re both happy. Not working this summer gave me a lot of time to figure some things out, like how you can kill a fruit fly infestation, and how best to fill out mortgage paperwork. I wish I could say things are going just as well at night, but I’m still holding out hope that maybe I’ll grow out of it. Could happen, right?

Until next time, which will hopefully (fingers crossed) be before 2016.