Kevin and I hosted Thanksgiving this year for the first time, which was stressful. We did the majority of the menu, asking family members to pitch in here and there. I love baking, so I wanted to bake a ton of pies for the occasion – which was ridiculous because I knew they wouldn’t get eaten – but pies are awesome! I wanted extravagence, tons of options.

In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving I was still getting used to the low dose of valium I now take to get my brain to rest at night. I was experimenting with how much to take, how much sleep I needed, what was going to happen if I woke up in the middle of the night.

It was a rough month.

The best answer is, if I wake up in the middle of the night now – I literally have no idea what life means or how it works. I don’t understand time. I don’t understand what day it is, why days are arranged the way they are. I know it’s dark outside, but there were a few times in November when I woke up and thought that it was the middle of the afternoon. It was a serious transition period and it was freaking weird.

About a week before Thanksgiving I was fine tuning the menu and the monster grocery list. I was probably thinking about it entirely too much, but it was our first Thanksgiving and I wanted it to be (I knew it wouldn’t be perfect for a lot of reasons) ..relatively normal.

So I guess you could say I had a lot of Thanksgiving on my mind.

One night I woke up on my knees on the floor, furiously wiping bugs off my chest. They weren’t real, obviously, but they felt real. Turns out they were thanksgiving insects!

Yeah, I know.

After I managed to come to a little, I found the notebook I keep by my bed and wrote down what I thought had just happened. In caveman scribbles I wrote this:

“Had a dream about thanksgiving insects were coming in trying to eat the pies. It felt like they were climbing down my chest so I woke up on my kneeds sweeping bugs off my chest onto the floor.”

At 3:14 am.

Thanksgiving troubles had seeped into my dreams in the form of Thanksgiving insects – which I can only assume look like regular insects with pilgrim hats on. As you can see by my sketch.



Perhaps the weirdest part of this whole thing, and there are a lot of weird fucking parts, is that it all happened at 3:14 in the morning. Whatttt? Why then? Why am I waking up on the floor just a few hours before regular people get up and go to work and lead regular lives. Why are the thanksgiving insects bothering me and not them? “Oh, it’s the valium” is a popular answer – but I’m not so sure.

Although insects/bugs are a regular trigger for me, this was the first and only time I met the thanksgiving insects. I suppose I won’t see them again until next year but I’ll continue to keep a look out for them. Or maybe I just won’t host fancy dinners at my house? It was weird, but because of me they didn’t get to the pies. Thanksgiving insects foiled again.